Why am I always thinking too much...? I dont want to..

I'M FREEEEEEE!!!
O Levels are finally over!! but i realised that it's going to be very bored.. hope i can find some things to do..

Weeks ago, i was counting down to the start of O Levels. now, im counting down the hours left to the end of it! EXCITED! but, i think after O's will be boring, cos studying took almost half of my life. I'm going to be free in about 18 hours!

11/11/11 !!!

Happy 11/11/11!!!!
today was an awesome day!
Physics Mcq was still okay, not so hard..
after that was play!!! celebrated 11/11/11 11:11am with some 9 other 4I people! there were Mark, Ivan, Yisheng, Gabriel, Jaslyn, Queeny, Anggit, Yvonne and Janissa. althought Janissa left halfway..
watched 23:59! it wasnt as scary as i thought.. but i hope i will not remember this when i go into NS! after movie, walked around Nex, girls do their shopping, we boys followed. They decided to buy friendship band for ourselves, to remember this once-in-a-time day. got a brown one each. Unfortunately, i cant wear it on my leg because the hole is too small! so it seems that it'll be on my wrist!

It's time, but I dont dare to!

Gonna have Physics Mcq tomorrow, but i t seems that i've clearly forgotten about it. have been thinking about what to do after the exams..
Tomorrow is a special day! 11/11/11. i really want to spend it with some special people, but it seems that i'm going to spend it with my special classmates!! 4I!!
Wild thoughts have been going through my mind lately. thinking of impossible things.. well, hopefully, it is possible!

Should i got for it? Tell you about it?

Without fail, when i wake up every morning and sleep every night, the same thing comes into my mind..

Does it happen to you?

There are always things i thought of posting, but when i face the typing area. i dont feel like already. so shall just keep it within myself!

6 more papers left!! having Biology tomorrow, and it seems that i have no mood to study. im kinda scared as well, for tomorrow's paper, and the SS paper on friday. but soon, i'll be out of this 'fear-zone'! wish me luck!




hi

just found out my previous post was the 200th! didn't know i posted so much.
have been listening to this song , very nice! and the lyrics also. it's Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls!

I'm going to try it, but please forgive me if i can't.

First week over!
English was still okay.. not confident though..
EMaths paper 1 and 2 is a disappointment. i think got a lot of careless mistakes!!! there goes my A1.. 2nd week is going to be a tough ride, a lot of papers! wish me luck!

Well, so be it.

I just can't believe it. were those 'times' real? or were they just dreams?

Watching Arsenal's match later!! so excited!





'If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always your. If they dont, they never were'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-fsnXymvd8 this video is awesome!

15 nov, exactly one more month to freedom, we're planning after-exam activities as though our papers are over! so cool!
class chalet is going to be on 16jan-19jan. so excited!! 9 more days! 9 more days to the start of the English paper!

'Girl, you appeared in my dreams again..'

Somebody please tell them who the f i is!

Last day of school, damn i'm gonna miss all my friends, miss my teachers, miss the canteen vendors, miss talking crap in class, miss basketball cca. basically, miss everything in school!!
lesson today, with a lot photos taken.
I'm really touched by the gifts from the teacchers, especially Mr Tang's. A test-tube! it's going to be the most meaningful test tube in my life. Mrs Janice Tan's was a small letter and a bookmark, with my name on it that she made herself.. Shocking!
After school, played basketball and soccer. the field was muddy and i got my shoes all dirty. it rained and we went into shelter and not long, i'm back out at the area outside the library to play 'one-pass' with Daniel and Ivan. played in the rain!
it seems today is an 'all-play' day.. oh no..

Watching soccer now!! so excited! but Arsenal is one goal down! Come on!! they can do it! my dad's playing mahjong with his friends, who have just came back from a wedding dinner. they're all semi-drunk except my dad! hah!!

dreamt of her again, this time was she asking me some physics stuffs. i think is something got to do with iron core.. how?!

Mock exams cleared, but i think there are still more coming up.
i shouldn't have done the backflip during PE, now my back is all pain. basically, i flipped, and ended up only flipping halfway, falling vertically on the mattress on my back. but at least i'm able to do a improper roundoff flip now. looking forward to learn more!

oh no, today is a very unproductive day. Sufyan just asked me in school whether my day is productive, i guess not.
simply because relatives came to my house, and it was like a mini gathering.. couldn't do work at that time. really hope i dont lose out from this.
(short post as i really have nothing much to say)

about One and a half more months more!!! i'm goning to be freeee!
decided to do my biology tys yesterday, and i found out i have a lot more to Know in bio, still having difficulties in it.. this week is packed with three mock exmas, ss, english and Amaths. but all these will be over soon! recently im addicted to neYo's songs, it's soo nice! maybe i should spread everone to hear his songs!

30 more days! if it's going to come very fast, it's sure to pass very fast too! i shall have this mindset, and do my best! i have a lot of things to look forward to after that.


Part of it still belongs to you..

Why.. I just don't know why..

I'm soo happy! i finally scored a header in a match! credits to Daniel Lim for the wonderful corner.
played soccer after school on friday. actually should have done a hat-trick, but i missed 2 great opportunities. all from corner kicks. but at least, i got my header!! yay!


It's coming already, omg.. starting to feel scared. but once it's over, it will be heaven!

Ohmygod, i had a wonderful dream last night!!!!
how i wish i didn't wake up. but it would be much better if that dream was to come earlier, so that i can share with you.. it's like everywhere we walk, we're doing it interlocking fingers.. as though the spaces fitted just right..
left with one more day of holiday, and i'm gonna spend 3 hours of it playing basketball.. ohno..

If you don't dare to step up and do the things you want, you wont get to do it for your whole life.
"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful." quoted from a youtube video. It's very inspiring and motivates people to do well.

One week of break ahead of me. cannot call it holidays cos there's still a need to study, but i think i will end up playing more than studying. maybe i'll dedicate one day to go out. that's why i want to prove myself wrong, that i have self-discipline to study and play only a little. i really really cant wait for O levels to be over..

I think i found my passion for soccer!! suddenly have this strong urge to play very well in soccer, but not to worry, i will still play basketball.
Played soccer today, the game was really ruined by the M.. they should really go home and help their parents do chores for their New Year. Play rough, kick people's bicycle, just a bunch of sore losers..

She's staring at me, i'm sittin wonder what she's thinking..

I'm left with Amaths paper 2 and the 3 sciences Mcq.
i cant wait for O level to be over, where i can sleep, play, do anything i want!
i think i'm going to learn flips, it's rather cool..


'I'll never get enough, you're the sweetest drug. You've become my addiction' -Neyo

Got a B3 for my O Level Chinese!!! Soooo happy!!
even my teacher would thought that i will only get a B4, seems that my hard work did paid off!
had English oral today.. uhhh, it was about some army thing, reunion.. hope i can do well as im not quite confident..
currently, im left with geography paper, 2 Amaths papers and the 3 sciences MCQ. however, after these paper doesn't mean relax because the real one is coming~!~

'What if', 'Only if', 'should have', all these phrases come together with Regret.

When i was waiting, i wanted to ask about you. When i saw you, i really wanted wish you. When you came out, I really wanted to go down and meet you. All these were prevented because of my cowardliness..

I doubt you know.
I doubt you feel.
I doubt everything about you.
But i myself know,
that i still do..

I hate my confidence that had no courage.

Wow, time passes really fast. It's already a year.
yeah, 365 days and i still cant..
didn't believe i managed to live on. as long as that person is happy, i will be much more happier.

Uh... Can't stop thinking about the same things. i'll be thinking about it everynight before i go to sleep, thinking of it when i daydream, thinking of it even when i type this. Im thinking what if it didn't happen, what if everything was smooth. yeah, What If.
I just want to get that out of my mind and maybe i can feel at ease, but it's like 99.999% impossible. the 0.001% is somewhere hiding away from me.


Anyway, ran the 3.2km cross-country yesterday. I'm soooo happy that 4I is able to get 2nd! seems that our training was worth it! but still don't know about my timing yet, gonna check it out on monday. went Amk Hub after the run, and suddenly decided to watch Harry Potter. not bad, maybe because i dont fully understand the story.

Took 136 home, and it pass by that place again. Without fail, it will always remind me about..
'I remember went i sent you off, when i let you go. Even if i were to go back, even if i were to erase it, i'll miss you more and more.' - 2PM Like A Movie

I'm sorry.

so tired these days.. yesterday went class training! shiok!
look forward to more! came back home with sore legs, muscles aches, whole body ache, but it was worth it!






from flirt, you became flirter. hope you dont be the flirtest.

Had weird dream again..
i dreamt that i went jogging with Elvin Ng and Tracy Lee, the two patrolling police for the 9pm show on channel 8.
2 days ago, went to watch X-Men First Class with Ziying and Mark.
guess what, ziying was really kind enough to watch it with us again, although he had watched it already the day before. not bad uh..

I think i have weird dreams recently..
last night i had 2 dreams.
1) i went picnic with idontknowwho at Sentosa, around the evening. i decided to take a walk. while walking, i saw two old man, around the age of 60-70. i dont know why i see them, then tears started to flow from my eyes. not only once, but it was everytime i saw them, maybe i just happy for them, being able to live happily..
2) I dreamt i had flying power, so it was so mission, but i wasnt in the team of 5 people. The team went into a cave, a haunted one.. and i followed. but the 'haunted' cave consists of cartoon ghosts..
weird right?..

Sprained Ankle...

i really dont like ankle sprain. it cause me a lot of trouble, when bathing, when walking.
was playing basketball and stepped on someone's leg. walked to econ minimart outside my school, and decided to call my dad to fetch me home.
Something interesting! while waiting for my dad, i accidentaly heard a conversation between and 60+ year old guy and and a china man.
Old guy: 你会架车吗？
China man: 不会啦，去考了，但是没有考到。
Old guy: 等以后你会架车，我带你去芽笼。

i was like oh my..

I really dont understand..
i trust you guys so much, and this is how you treat me.. i tried to give way for the first time, but now.. it made me so hard to do it. the words you said, the action you did, just shows it all.

i hope what i think is not true..

Counting down..

it's 2 more days and students of secondary 4 will be in the hall, taking our first O levels exams.. dont know whether should i be tense, but everyone nervousness around me is making me so..
anyway, studied with Yeewei at skcc after our Cip, decided to go to the library as the weather was really really hot.. studied till 5pm went home.
on the way home, while taking Lrt, i dropped at the wrong station.. ended up i had to walk home from there..


today marks the 10th month, and i managed to survive my life, but still unable to forget....

Chinese!! These few days, everything i do, is Chinese. well, MT o level is coming, just gotta bear with for a few more days, put in my 101% effort, and i will not have to touch Chinese anymore..
anyway, i'm super happy because someone praised me.. he invited me to join his soccer team, saying that i would be a good defender. he said he sees potential in me, and really want me to join his team. i was really greatful but i had to reject his offer.. i would not have time to train for soccer, given the upcoming O levels.. no words can describe my feelings at the moment..
Gonna do Chinese now!

Results

Damn, think i did quite bad for MYE..
failed my English, border-lines passes for my Sciences, Humans and Chinese,
but satisfied with a Maths results! really got to brush up on all these subjects.

I'm trying very very hard to get you out of my mind, but it seems that my brain, my heart doesn't want you to go.
It seems that you are already a piece of me.
I really hope i can do it. (Come on Marcus!)
went to do homework with Yeewei in the afternoon. managed to complete one compo, but i dont think that was productive enough.
Chinese Intensive Study Programme had started, it's gonna be like training for a BIG war ahead.
so yeah, all the best to everyone!!

I was always there for you but you were there for me..

i'm back! left with 2 papers, Chemistry and Biology mcq.
seriously hope i can do well..
so now, time for some flashback..
06/05/11 was my Chinese papers, nothing much to say.. abit abit difficult.
10/05/11, English papers and Physics paper 2. English wasn't quite good, Physics still okay.
11/05/11, one of the hardest day, with Social Studies paper, E Maths paper 1 and Biology paper 2. studies for SS the night before, and went to sleep. wake up in the morning, tried to read abit of Biology, and went for the exams.. The 3 papers i also okay.
12/05/11 E Maths paper 2, Chemistry paper 2 and Geography. another not-good day. e Maths paper and Geography paper was okay, but not for the Chemistry.. for the first time, i felt confident for my Geog paper.
13/05/11 went to school late! cos the other classes have History paper. A Maths paper 1 was managable, but with some questions really pissing me off.
16/05/11 was kinda like a nightmare for me. A Maths paper 2 was like a rotten dish of food, served with spoil dessert ( Physics paper 1)..
Well, it's over.. tomorrow is Chem and Bio paper 1.
and after that still have Chem lessons..
next week is Chinese Intensive Study Programme! oh my..
and the following week is Chinese O Level!!.......
it seems that i cant go crazy playing after Mid-year exams...

It's here.

yeah, It's here.
Exams are here. less than 24 hours.
well, i'm having chinese paper 1 and 2 tomorrow.
and i don't quite like the fact that for two days, i have to sit for 3 papers each. so i have to work extra hard, and do well for the last mid-year exam in secondary school!
All the best to everyone and aim high!!

I met my pull-up target!! it was 5 but guessed what, i did 7!! so happy with myself.
should have like pushed myself, one more for him to tell his secret, two more for a A..
andand, i improved my standing board jump as well! from 235 to 241cm! A!!
so far, Shuttle run, sit-ups, and standing board jump - A
2.4km Run and pull-up - B. i really really want a gold..
well had *** for the last two days after school.. have many things to say, but i'm not supposed to..
exams are coming... Good luck to everyone! All The Best!

Things i aim to complete.

Monday (today) is going to be a holiday, to replace labour day.
i think i'm gonna be at home, doing homework.
1) 2 Past Years' Chemistry paper
2) Chinese Comprehension
3) A maths past year paper
4) Revise for Biology Practical
5) Physics Past year's paper

I'm sooo happy Arsenal won Man Utd!! a goal from Ramsey brought victory to Arsenal! WELL DONE!! well, i'm completing my Napfa 5 stations this tuesday.. really really hope i can do5 pull-ups. i'm hungry for a C for the pull-up section.

I can see many people around me starting to work hard. yes i'm motivated by them.
but everytime i take out my things, my mood isn't there.. how!? i really have to concentrate!

Tuition this morning. had flu all the way..
came back, my plan was to complete the magazine, but now, it's not completed.

when i saw your message, my heart starts to beat faster and faster. what does this means??.. that feeling, it's sooo.. and i really dont understand why i had that..

11.35mins was the timing for my Napfa. manage to reach the first target but not the second. could have done better if i sprint for the last 200m..
anyway, 80-16. we THRASHED them! outram..
scored 4 today! went in, drew a foul, made the 2 free-throws, stole a ball youduring defence, at completed the fast break layup. sweet!
i think this is the largest victory for the boys. our scored is 5 times of theirs. next up, Ang mo kio sec, win that and we're confirm into the semi-finals.

i'm back again. for tomorrow's run, i want to aim <12mins. better if it can be <11.

Missed lessons again, English, Chemistry and Physics. but it was worth it! we won teck whye!
we're left with 2 matches and we're gonna win it.
anyway, NAPFA 2.4km run tomorrow. hope everything goes well!

Just learned that we still have to play for the loser's pool. and i dont feel like playing. O level is getting nearer and i'm scared.. hah, anyway, here are 10 interesting facts about me.
1. Before i bathe, i will stare at the mirror and do all sorts of different hairstyle.
2. I (used to) like 2PM
3. Sometimes, i'm scared of ghost..
4. I'm usually topless at home.
5. I'm a member of Happy 3 Friends.
6. I'm an Arsenal fan!
7. I like to dance to some Kpop songs.
8. I want to learn flips!
9. I like Mathematics
10. So far, I only truely love one girl.

it seems that you dont understand us.
TEAM, Together Everyone Acheive More.
anyway, yesterday went training until 5pm, then head home with yeewei for a bath then BBQ!
i played basketball at the start and only start eating at around 9+
bbq-ed with daniel and cleared the place until 12am.
today, we lost.. this means that we must win Bedok North the next match 20+.
was on the way home i saw a group of guys breakdancing downstairs at the multi-purpose hall. so cool! reached home, bathe, eat, did abitt of homework and now typing all these..

wooooohahaha!HOHO
We won! so happy, at least we can go out, telling people that we won Presbytarian.
today's match was without a coach. it seems that we can play much more calm without him at the side. (no offence.) the bench (me, jonathan, derrick, yeesiang and chenkai) was noisy like shit. making comments on like everything! it was fun!
Next game against Assumption. We must win all the match in order to proceed. and we will!

It's 1.23am now.
well later having match against Presbytarian's second team. meeting up earlier for lunch.
gonna sleep now. tired + nothing to do.

SHIT!!! played Texas Poker in fb and I LOST ALL THE MONEY I WON JUST NOW!!!! NOOO!!!!!!!

It's the holidays next week!! but there's nothing to be happy for..
i have to go back to school for basketball, and there's TONS of homework to be done..
anyway, i want to thank JinXuan for the treat last night! i was really full.
i have no mood to start on homework yet.. hope somethings can motivate me to start.

You're amazing just the way you are.

Bruno Mars -Just the way you are:

Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are.


I'm so in love with this song. I was singing it throughout lessons and Ivan was like 'you really crazy about it'. Hah! todaywas okay, chemistry test didn't went so well. after school went to play soccer, then training. legs are very tired now.. just played finish a Dota game with Teehui, Mark and ChenKai. won! hah! gonna rest now and later play blackshot with ziying they all.

a brand new day, english was bad.. real bad..
for the first time of my life, i got sent out of class just because i never found enough articles. not only me but more than hlaf of the class were sent out also.
amaths, and i mr nazied that i got 100% for my progress report! hope i can do it for O levels.. hah!
physics did SPA practical, geog lce then chinese. after school, quickly went to compasspoint with ivan and ziying to buy cake for weikiat and yisheng. we bought a Tom and Jerry cake! when we reach back school, i thought only around 10 stayed back to celebrate, but 20+ people did! hah! that's my class! (4I!!) i fiddle with the lighter and the gas accidentaly leaked. i ran to the toilet and stop the leaking. but disposing it was the problem, so i decided to hit open the lighter and pour away the gas before throwing it into the bin. when i hitted it, there was a 'BOOM' sound. i thought the lighter exploded but there was no pain at all. went back class, took some pictures and went to play soccer. rain-ed so slack awhile then went home.

Studied chemistry and hope everything stay in my mind. Now, i'm prepared to go the the funeral and it's the last day. i really want to pay my last respect to my uncle tomorrow, but my parents advised me not to go as i have a test. well, he will understand.

Came home and no one was at home, they all went to the funeral already. so bathed, now writing this, later gonna do abit of homework, then make my way there. uhhhh, just really think that it's such a waste having my uncle to leave us. anyway, this friday is the day of cremation, i dont know whether i want to go or not, cos i'm having a chemistry test. well, i'll think about.


Zee 2 Da ING is a friend of mine, and i can tease him easily!! haha! the way he cough, hiccup, most of the things he do, hah! gonna have 'Men's Talk' after school tomorrow, with Ivan, Yisheng, Mark, Weikiat and some other.. it's gonna be sooo fun! lastly, i would like to wish weikiat,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIKIAT!!!

Dedicated to my Uncle

Back home from my Uncle's wake.
uhhhh.. what a waste, he's such a good person. a guy which always has a smile on his face. he's caring, kind, friendly.. but i guessed that day was the last time i met him..
he got a cancer months ago, and he became thinner, and thinner..
no one could recognise him. on CNY, he was still lively, able to smile..
but woke up this morning with a real bad news.. yeah, he left us..
Rest In Peace.

KER ZIYING!! if you're seeing this, THIS IS FOR YOU!!

新年快乐！ Happy New Year!!
Finally, it's the lunar new year. think it's gonna be the last holiday that we are going to enjoy and after this, it's time to study..
morning woke up, went alll the way to Bukit Batok to pray, then went to one of my uncle's house at Yishun. Met a lot of relatives which i only see them once in a year.
homed, and had steamboat with cousins..
i havent started gambling yet!! hope i will win! huat arh!

I'M SO HAPPY TODAY!!
Won the match in a dramatic way!!
well, morning went to school A and E maths, then PE!
Mass lecture for English and physics then chemistry after that.
2pm, went down eat and get ready for the match!
Teehui, Manfred, Yongquan, Nicholas, and Daniel went to support us, along with the girls.
1st Quarter, we was leading about 10+ and our morale was good!
2nd Quarter, started to lose a bit but the lead went down to around 4-6.
3rd Quarter, morale slowly went down, lost the lead.
4th Quarter, the lead was up and down, and we managed to reduced the lead to 3.
a time-out was called, and Gerald was tasked to shoot the three-point.
left with around 4 seconds, i think. then the five started running. the ball went to Gerald's hand and he made the shot. the ball went 'bamp, chop'! our whole team was sooo happy, and tears of joy came out from my eyes.. then we went to overtime and won!!! best game ever! nothing can describe the feelings we had.

It's early Monday morning and it seems that there are still a few people online at facebook..
i'm left with social studies now.. and i hope to complete it by 1am.
anyway, web-caming with ziying also..
it is very fun! with him doing stupid stuffs!

I'm so cold and my legs are soo tired now.
morning went to pray my grandparents, i kinda miss them..
went shopping after that.
went Bugis Street > Somerset 313 > Cinneleisure > Herren > home.
Bought my skinnies at bugis street, $28. wooohooo! Mark bought the same one.
after that accompanied them buy their stuffs..
reach home at around 7.45pm, ate the did homework while watching Arsenal.
(final score Arsenal 2 Huddelsfield 1)
bathed, and now i'm gonna study for my ss and chemistry.

urghhh!!! i'm confused right now!!! How the hell do you want me to help!?!? you dont expect me to tell them straight, do you. or maybe i should..

I just dont get it. why are you caring about us? or maybe, why are you caring about him? true friends/brothers dont take it their heart when they disturb each other.. but, i dont want to quarrel with you..

i had a horrible time walking back from tuition. the floor was wet, and my slippers had no grip. so every step i took, was as though i was gonna slip and fall..
felt much better after yeewei told me he's okay.
God, please help him recover fast, i dont want it to affect his everything.
i'm doing my social studies now, and i really hope i can concentrate on it because there is something really distracting me.. COMPUTER!!

wow.. this blog is so dead..
i'm gonna use this blog to say out everything in me, to feel better..
went to school, not feeling quite well. everything was normal, until i became suddenly very high during LCE lessons.. after school was waiting for shaowen, and we played basketball. something real bad happen.. i was driving in for a lay up, and when i land, my elbow went to yeewei's eye. the way he respond can tell how pain is it, plus it's competition period.
Yeewei, I'm really really sorry..

i just can't stop thinking about her.